The Cincinnati Bengals lost a game. I lost a friend.

So much for the Cincinnati Bengals catapulting their season against the Philadelphia Eagles. No wonder fans left early during the 37-17 loss Sunday at Paycor. (Mike Bass Photo)

By Mike Bass
mbass@mikebasscoaching.com

CINCINNATI – I was walking toward the Paycor Stadium gate when a passing Bengals fan yelled this at the two Philadelphia Eagles-clad folks in front of me:

“Those shirt colors are YUCKY!”

Yucky?

“That’s about as polite an insult as you’ll ever hear,” I told the pair.

And we laughed.

Ken Droz would have laughed, too. He loved a good laugh. I wish you had known him.

He died the previous weekend.

But I still can hear his laugh.

* * *

 I came to Detroit as a 22-year-old, often working nights on the sports copy desk. Ken was one of the few friends I met in my short time there. We could kid each other without it feeling personal. He had that way about him.

 I did cover the minor-league basketball Detroit Spirits, and Ken was their PR and PA person. I still remember when one of the cheerleaders slipped on a mini-trampoline and knocked over the others like dominoes. Ken announced this to the few hundred fans at Cobo Arena:

“We ask you not to try this at home. These are experienced professionals.”

A few years ago, I introduced my wife to Ken when we visited Detroit. We retold that story. We retold a lot of stories. We all laughed. Ken had a goofy laugh sometimes.

I miss that laugh.

I am so grateful I got to spend some time with Ken Droz a few years ago. (Mike Bass Photo)

* * *

I was scrolling through Facebook last week when I saw a post saying Ken Droz had died.  

Huh?

We were about the same age.

How?

Burst aorta.

What?

It made me cry.

It made me think.

It changed this trip back to Cincinnati for me.

* * *

 My friend Brian invites me back to a game every season, and we had chosen this one. It would turn out to be a chance for the Bengals to finally beat a good team instead of just coming close, to finally win a home game, to finally prove worthy of those Super Bowl expectations.

But I made this trip about more than that.

I always try to see old friends when I return, and this time I wanted to tell them how much they mean to me, what I can’t tell Ken now. My friends are my extended family.

I wanted to reach out to my fan family, too. Bengals fans adopted me when I started coaching. So many of you were honest and open with me. You made me feel like one of you. Now I am. I am forever grateful to you.

I roamed through the tailgates before the game, like I try to do every time I return. I know some of you from previous visits, some others only be X handle.

There was Jess (@thewhobae), who is a heroic nurse practitioner like my wife. But I got there too late to see Jess’ husband (@BengalsCaptain). Damn.

There was Paul (@WhoDey_UK), who had given my wife and me tips for our London visit. Paul runs the Bengals’ UK fan club, which also had chosen this game to attend. Paul wore a Bengals hat and cape, plus a Super Bowl XXIII sweatshirt signed by Tim Krumrie. Nice.

There was Bengal Jim (@bengaljims_BTR), who helped get me started on this Bengals fan coaching journey four years ago. He was singing “The Bengal Growl” on stage with WWE wrestler Angelo Dawkins. Hilarious.

There was Jeff, aka Strawberry Ice (@JeffATrennepohl), who followed his passion and, like Bengal Jim, created a popular YouTube show. Jeff introduced me to the crowd, and later to his parents because Bengals games are about the bonds of family and fans, of old friends and new acquaintances, and right where I wanted to be. Perfect.

And then came the game. 

Which was not what any of us had hoped to see.

Give a Who Dey for Paul, the head of the UK Bengals fan club. (Mike Bass Photo)

* * *

Bengals-Eagles was supposed to be a springboard.

Eagles 37, Bengals 17 was a belly flop.

Cincinnati now sits 3-5. The annual rebound from a slow start should have hit by now. It might never come. The Bengals are not good enough.  

Now you see it, even if they don’t.

In our day-after-game X session Monday, I asked what you were struggling with most.

@Andhesonit51: “After ten years of going to games, this was the first one I've ever left early. Disgraceful performance.”

@Tracy_helmer: “There’s something missing from this team. Some fire, some hunger.. I can’t quite put my finger on it. What happened to the ‘WHY NOT US??’ That team seems so far gone, and it just 💔.”

@Jacolope5432: “The same thing that happened with the reds last season for me. Preseason hype got me because I thought we had a better team, so now that we're booty cheeks and missed the playoffs, I'm extra disappointed and sad.”

Bengal Land has turned to Mudville.

You want to blame.

You want to pick a target.

Any target.  

@RayshonMack: “Mike Brown still owning the team.”

@Dentuttle: “Zac Taylor's career-long football incompetence.”

@WilySnowPena: “We want to win more than the coaches, players and FO want to win. We see the shortcomings and the FO ignore them. We want to try different strategies, while the coaching staff is stubborn.”

Can’t they make a trade?

@Scott_Tuck3r: “The Jets, Bills, Chiefs all get better at the deadline. Bengals never trade in season and hardly ever draft picks. They miss on too many of those.”

Can’t the defense defend?

@Dlights44: “The Jekyll and Hyde of a defense. Inability to change anything midgame. Not dialing up a pass rush for an entire game while secondary is getting touched.”

Must the offense be so offensive?

@Travisfox466641: “Why is our offense so vanilla?    No motion no disguise.  We rely on burrow and chase being a hero instead of establishing the run, and opening up our offense.”

Must we be so predictable?

@Ichadlowe: “A lack of imagination!”

Hold on.

That was actor Chad Lowe.

And he might have said it best. Maybe a little more creativity is exactly what the Bengals need because what they are doing isn’t working. They need a Hollywood ending. It’s too bad Ken Droz wasn’t around to write one. He wanted to be a screenwriter. He tried. No luck.

Reality is tough sometimes.

And we have to deal with it.

* * *

The Bengals are 0-4 at home now, but touchdown favorites to beat the Las Vegas Raiders on Sunday at Paycor. Win that one, beat the Ravens on Thursday night in Baltimore, and suddenly the world looks brighter.

Can’t see it happening?

Don’t want to buy into it?

Why force it?

Look, you get to decide how you want to handle the Bengals now. You still might be dealing with your disappointment, and who could blame you? You might feel duped, robbed of the joy you anticipated, stripped of what you deserved.

Feel it. Then release it.

If you can find a way to put this in perspective, to see beyond just the game and to focus on what else is important to you, and who else matters to you, it can help. And if you can lower your expectations for the Bengals and try to get something out of each game, you can pull out of your malaise and enhance your experience.

Remember, you have some history with this. You spent years watching this team falter and you kept returning. There is more to Bengals football and fandom than just winning, or you would have left decades ago. What helps you get over the anger and frustration? What centers you?

For me, this was easy. I lost a friend. I started to heal by connecting with other friends and with you.

And now, I keep thinking about those two Eagles fans who got a kick out of the politest of insults before the game.

“People here are so nice,” one of them told me.

I never appreciated them more.